{"id":1134,"date":"2021-10-23T15:21:31","date_gmt":"2021-10-23T19:21:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/?p=1134"},"modified":"2021-10-23T15:33:36","modified_gmt":"2021-10-23T19:33:36","slug":"donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/","title":{"rendered":"Donald Trump\u2019s hair asks for hurricane relief funds"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>NEW YORK, NY<\/strong>&nbsp;&#8211; Following the devastation left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, New York billionaire Donald Trump has asked that FEMA funds be made available to his wind ravaged hair. Trump made the request while taking cover from beneath his desk, surrounded by support staff and hair care professionals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cFor some reason, I can\u2019t get our worthless President on the phone,\u201d said Trump. \u201cHe\u2019s probably on the phone to China, selling them our gold reserves in exchange for magic beans. I don\u2019t know why that socialist Kenyan won\u2019t take my calls, but if he thinks he can ignore the magnificence of Donald Trump\u2019s hair, he has another thing coming.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The damage to Trump\u2019s hair occurred when Mr. Trump ignored orders to take cover, and instead began wandering the streets of Manhattan as the storm rolled in. \u201cI saw that there were reporters out there,\u201d explained Donald. \u201cSo I wanted to make my way in front of the TV cameras to reassure America that I was ok. I have many fans around the world who are concerned for my safety, so I thought a little bit of camera time was in order. Next thing I knew a gust unraveled my hair from midtown to Queens. It quickly was swept back around through the lower east side where it became tangled up in a turned over knish cart. I\u2019m not sure it all made it back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The federal government has not responded to Trump\u2019s request for relief. \u201cWe have more important things to deal with,\u201d said FEMA spokesman Kevin Brooks. \u201cWe believe that Honey Boo Boo may be trapped on a roof in Maryland. We already have her endorsement.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>NEW YORK, NY&nbsp;&#8211; Following the devastation left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, New York billionaire Donald Trump has asked that FEMA funds be made available to his wind ravaged hair. Trump made the request while taking cover from beneath his desk, surrounded by support staff and hair care professionals. \u201cFor some reason, I can\u2019t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1134","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-business"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v17.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Donald Trump\u2019s hair asks for hurricane relief funds - Derf\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"NEW YORK, NY&nbsp;&#8211; Following the devastation left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, New York billionaire Donald Trump has asked that FEMA funds be made available to his wind ravaged hair. Trump made the request while taking cover from beneath his desk, surrounded by support staff and hair care professionals. \u201cFor some reason, I can\u2019t [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Derf\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-10-23T19:21:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-10-23T19:33:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"derfmaga\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/\",\"name\":\"Derf\",\"description\":\"[\\u221a ] Good    [   ] Better    [   ] Best\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/\",\"name\":\"Donald Trump\\u2019s hair asks for hurricane relief funds - Derf\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2021-10-23T19:21:31+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-10-23T19:33:36+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#\/schema\/person\/dfd0f6f388c68c4f5f0eca00aa64cb82\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Donald Trump\\u2019s hair asks for hurricane relief funds\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#\/schema\/person\/dfd0f6f388c68c4f5f0eca00aa64cb82\",\"name\":\"derfmaga\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0287dcdea731f0f5daa22d7682a4862cf4005042bccc8b273ec802918dc331d0?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0287dcdea731f0f5daa22d7682a4862cf4005042bccc8b273ec802918dc331d0?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"derfmaga\"},\"description\":\"The Tide Pen never really lived up to the hype. It takes like seven of those things to wash a shirt. It's laborious and can cause carpal tunnel.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/author\/derfmaga\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Donald Trump\u2019s hair asks for hurricane relief funds - Derf","og_description":"NEW YORK, NY&nbsp;&#8211; Following the devastation left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, New York billionaire Donald Trump has asked that FEMA funds be made available to his wind ravaged hair. Trump made the request while taking cover from beneath his desk, surrounded by support staff and hair care professionals. \u201cFor some reason, I can\u2019t [&hellip;]","og_url":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/","og_site_name":"Derf","article_published_time":"2021-10-23T19:21:31+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-10-23T19:33:36+00:00","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"derfmaga","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#website","url":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/","name":"Derf","description":"[\u221a ] Good    [   ] Better    [   ] Best","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/","name":"Donald Trump\u2019s hair asks for hurricane relief funds - Derf","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#website"},"datePublished":"2021-10-23T19:21:31+00:00","dateModified":"2021-10-23T19:33:36+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#\/schema\/person\/dfd0f6f388c68c4f5f0eca00aa64cb82"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/business\/donald-trumps-hair-asks-for-hurricane-relief-funds\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Donald Trump\u2019s hair asks for hurricane relief funds"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#\/schema\/person\/dfd0f6f388c68c4f5f0eca00aa64cb82","name":"derfmaga","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/#personlogo","inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0287dcdea731f0f5daa22d7682a4862cf4005042bccc8b273ec802918dc331d0?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0287dcdea731f0f5daa22d7682a4862cf4005042bccc8b273ec802918dc331d0?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"derfmaga"},"description":"The Tide Pen never really lived up to the hype. It takes like seven of those things to wash a shirt. It's laborious and can cause carpal tunnel.","sameAs":["https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home"],"url":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/author\/derfmaga\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1134"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1134\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1135,"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1134\/revisions\/1135"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}