{"id":1359,"date":"2021-10-26T21:00:49","date_gmt":"2021-10-27T01:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/?p=1359"},"modified":"2021-11-02T20:53:14","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T00:53:14","slug":"the-boyfriend-scorecard-how-does-your-guy-score","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/lifestyle\/the-boyfriend-scorecard-how-does-your-guy-score\/","title":{"rendered":"The Boyfriend Scorecard: How does your guy score?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Katie Michaels, DERF Magazine Relationship Blogger<\/strong>

Throughout our lives we use numerical scoring systems.\u00a0At work our performance is often measured on a numerical scale.\u00a0Our bank accounts, investments, and home values are all monitored and evaluated numerically.\u00a0Our exercise progress is often measured in numerical reps, times, weight, etc.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can always get a little extra insight from the numbers. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Maybe our relationships can also use a little numerical evaluation.\u00a0 We certainly shouldn’t over emphasize the value of numerical versus intuitive evaluation but I believe every once in a while we can get a little extra insight about our relationships from the numbers.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I developed this Boyfriend Scorecard a few years ago and have received enough feedback on it that it has allowed me to calibrate a scoring scale for you.\u00a0So you have the benefit of getting a sense of where your boyfriend stacks up to other boyfriends. I have a few other scorecards such as the Relationship Scorecard and the Girlfriend Scorecard which I plan to share in future blogs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are the best ways to use the Boyfriend Scorecard<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

1. Fill it out as honestly as possible
2. Nicely ask your boyfriend to fill it out to evaluate himself
3. Review the results in a nonthreatening manner with your boyfriend
4. Agree on items of improvement.\u00a0 If he suggests items of improvement for you, discuss them openly and agree to work on them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scoring your boyfriend on Communication, Romantic Aptitude, and Maturity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Keep in mind the scorecard is condensed to judge primarily the areas I have determined are the biggest trouble spots women experience with their boyfriends. There are countless other areas we could explore but we have to keep this manageable.\u00a0This scorecard was also designed with the assumption your boyfriend has never exhibited any behaviors such as domestic violence, substance abuse, or other criminal or self-destructive behaviors.\u00a0If you are coping with any of these issues, my scorecard cannot help you.\u00a0You need to seek advice from a legal authority or psychological professional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here it is.\u00a0Answer as honestly as possible. If you are angry about a recent issue, wait until you calm down before letting your intense emotions influence your scores.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Score each area from 1 to 5<\/strong>
\u00a0\u00a0 1 = Terrible – Your boyfriend has no aptitude or positive exhibited behavior in this area.
\u00a0\u00a0 5 = Excellent – You are very happy with your boyfriend this area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Communication Scores<\/strong>
____\u00a0 Clarity:<\/strong>\u00a0 His ability and willingness to effectively communicate how he is feeling.
____\u00a0 Empathy:<\/strong> His ability and willingness to understand how you are feeling.
\u00ad____\u00a0 Siblings:<\/strong> Did he grow up with one or more sisters within 5 years of his age?\u00a0 This factor is often associated with men who better understand the dynamics of communicating emotionally with women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Romantic Aptitude Scores<\/strong>
____\u00a0 Does he make plans 2 or more time per year? Men who have an innate or learned romantic aptitude understand a vital component is planning.\u00a0This is a key indicator for relationships that are considered romantic by the female partner.\u00a0
____\u00a0 Does he surprise you romantically 1 or more times per year?\u00a0Occasional romantic surprises, whether humorous or sweet, are also key indicators of a romantic aptitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maturity Scores<\/strong>
____\u00a0 Responsibility:<\/strong> Does he have it together?\u00a0 Bills, job, etc?\u00a0
____\u00a0 Organization:<\/strong> Does he have a basic and established system for staying organized?
____\u00a0 Dependability:<\/strong> Can you and others count on him to deliver on his commitments?
____\u00a0 Personality:<\/strong> Any major glitches that affect his relationships with friends, family, or you?

____\u00a0\u00a0 TOTAL SCORE<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next Step
<\/strong>Ask your boyfriend to score himself on this scorecard.\u00a0This is an important indicator of his level of self-awareness and honesty.\u00a0If he scored himself higher than your score, deduct 3 points from his total score.\u00a0For all other scores leave the total score intact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Score Interpretation<\/strong>
0-18<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You have some serious thinking to do about this relationship.\u00a0Is this relationship beyond hope?\u00a0Not if you don’t mind being in a terrible relationship. This is probably a good time to think about either moving on (or finding a less thorough scorecard lol). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

19-26<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This indicates your boyfriend has a limited relationship aptitude and has chosen not to learn from past relationships. It’s not beyond hope but you may be in for a lifetime of hard work with limited results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

27-35<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You’re on solid ground here with room for improvement.\u00a0The foundation is there which means improvement is very possible and likely.\u00a0Enjoy the journey together<\/p>\n\n\n\n

36-45<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This indicates you have found a top shelf boyfriend.\u00a0If he scored toward the upper end of this scale, you may be able to learn a thing or two from him.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Katie Michaels, DERF Magazine Relationship Blogger Throughout our lives we use numerical scoring systems.\u00a0At work our performance is often measured on a numerical scale.\u00a0Our bank accounts, investments, and home values are all monitored and evaluated numerically.\u00a0Our exercise progress is often measured in numerical reps, times, weight, etc.\u00a0 We can always get a little extra […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[20],"class_list":{"0":"post-1359","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-lifestyle","7":"tag-relationships"},"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n\t\n\t\n