In a recent email survey I did among friends and readers, I learned 7 out of 10 women believe it is acceptable to snoop through their boyfriend\u2019s cell phone if they suspect him of cheating. So more than half of us believe it is okay to breach our boyfriend\u2019s private information if we merely suspect foul play. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here is what makes this interesting. Asked the same question, only 1 out of 10 men believe it okay to snoop through their girlfriend\u2019s cell phone if they suspect her of cheating. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
70% of women have culturally devolved to believing that breaching personal privacy is acceptable.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
In my personal experience I know many women who have secretly gone to great lengths to gain information from their boyfriend\u2019s cell phone, computer, personal files, etc. Some women make this a way of life. I know several women who make a regular practice of accessing their boyfriend\u2019s personal information as a means of preventive \u201cauditing\u201d. They have rationalized this behavior in their minds as a way of protecting themselves from male betrayal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know how it happened but somehow 70% of women have culturally devolved to believing that breaching someone\u2019s personal privacy is acceptable behavior. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
News Flash: Just as many women cheat on their boyfriends. So it interesting to note that, in spite of this, the vast majority of men will not breach their girlfriend’s personal information. We have something to learn from men. And it is something important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The three reasons phone-snooping is risky and unacceptable <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1.\u00a0 You are rationalizing poor behavior<\/strong> – Most women rationalize this behavior based on some level of seriousness they have assigned to the relationship.\u00a0But this is completely arbitrary.\u00a0There is no \u201clevel of relationship seriousness\u201d that converts behavior from unethical to ethical. \u201cWe\u2019ve been dating 4 months!\u201d\u00a0 “We moved in together!\u201d\u00a0 \u201cHe told me he loves me!\u201d\u00a0 Starting to get the picture on how ridiculous this sounds?\u00a0Elevate yourself above this cycle.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.\u00a0 You open yourself up to suspicion of identity theft<\/strong> – When you have access to a person\u2019s PDA such as an iPhone or Blackberry, you have access not only to all of his communications such as emails, texts, and phone calls but also all of his private information including financial, banking, and credit records, medical information, confidential work information, friends and family issues, private journals, password lists, etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If he learns you have breached his phone or laptop, he has no reason to believe you didn\u2019t breach ALL of this information. He is perfectly justified to suspect you may be planning to steal from him.\u00a0If he becomes the victim of identity theft, he will suspect you?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3. You have betrayed his trust beyond measure<\/strong> – Most men believe this is an absolute violation of their privacy and trust. And they\u2019re right! He would be na\u00efve to trust you again on any level. Some men may forget about it pretty quick but in the eyes of more thoughtful men, you are a giant notch lower on the quality scale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bottomline is you are never justified to access personal information<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
So girls, get your information another way. Rifling through your man\u2019s cell phone is the easy, low-class way. Don\u2019t let anyone tell you it is acceptable. If you absolutely believe he is cheating on you then handle it appropriately. You are never justified to access his personal information. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am not going to comment here on how this issue relates to married couples. The game is different after a couple is married. There are legal and other issues that enter into the picture. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A final tip about phone-snooping for both women and<\/em> men<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Hats off to men who apply the extra effort of protecting their information. I know many men who practice good password hygiene and code their contact information for the sole purpose of protecting it from women they are dating. Playing a little defense in all aspects of your life can never hurt. I recommend this for everyone. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In a recent email survey I did among friends and readers, I learned 7 out of 10 women believe it is acceptable to snoop through their boyfriend\u2019s cell phone if they suspect him of cheating. So more than half of us believe it is okay to breach our boyfriend\u2019s private information if we merely suspect […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[20],"class_list":{"0":"post-1361","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-lifestyle","7":"tag-relationships"},"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n\t\n\t\n