{"id":632,"date":"2021-11-06T15:50:14","date_gmt":"2021-11-06T19:50:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/?p=632"},"modified":"2021-11-06T14:53:23","modified_gmt":"2021-11-06T18:53:23","slug":"donald-trump-pledges-his-administration-will-avenge-death-of-jon-snow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/politics\/donald-trump-pledges-his-administration-will-avenge-death-of-jon-snow\/","title":{"rendered":"Donald Trump pledges his administration will avenge death of Jon Snow"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

NEW YORK, NY <\/strong>– In a rousing press conference, billionaire tycoon Donald Trump announced his intention to enter the 2016 Presidential race. Trump made many promises and bold statements during the announcement, not the least of which is his pledge that it will be a top priority of his administration to avenge the death of Night\u2019s Watch Commander Jon Snow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIndeed my friends, winter is coming,\u201d said a stern-faced Donald Trump. \u201cAnd though the night may be dark and full of terrors, in my campaign the morning is bright and full of really simple solutions to complex problems. For example, we\u2019re going to end the drought in California by using water from the Pacific Ocean. I looked it up, California sits right there on the ocean. One of my advisors told me that the reason they don\u2019t use ocean water is because there is salt in it. I looked him square in the eye and said, \u2018Here\u2019s what we\u2019re gonna do. We\u2019re gonna take the salt out of it. I don\u2019t care if it takes days. We\u2019re gonna take all the salt out of that water and then we\u2019re gonna sell the salt to a salt company.\u2019 Then, I fired him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though Trump has a long list of problems in the country that he plans to quickly correct, his passion for avenging the death of Jon Snow appears to be a top priority. \u201cLook, we need to once again be a country that stands for something,\u201d said Trump. \u201cAs President, I will not let the rest of the world think that the United States of America will sit back and do nothing after the Lord Commander of the Night\u2019s Watch is killed in cold blood. Did I agree with Jon Snow\u2019s stance on the Wildings? No, not really. If I were Lord Commander of the Night\u2019s Watch, I would have built a really big wall to make sure no Wildings got through, but that\u2019s just me. Having said that, Jon Snow did not deserve to die, and the traitors who killed him will pay. Not only that, but I feel a personal connection with Jon Snow. Us guys with beautiful, luxurious manes of hair need to stick together.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Donald Trump\u2019s obsession with the world portrayed on HBO\u2019s Game of Thrones continued as he went on to attack his presumptive Democratic opponent. \u201cAnd I\u2019ll tell you something about Hillary,\u201d he railed. \u201cWhen I get done with her, I will not graciously accept her concession on election night. She will be forced to confess to all of her crimes. She will then be stripped of all of her clothing and be forced to walk nude out of Washington while being followed by people chanting \u2018Shame….Shame….Shame…\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

NEW YORK, NY – In a rousing press conference, billionaire tycoon Donald Trump announced his intention to enter the 2016 Presidential race. Trump made many promises and bold statements during the announcement, not the least of which is his pledge that it will be a top priority of his administration to avenge the death of Night\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-632","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-politics"},"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n\t\n\t\n