{"id":900,"date":"2021-10-22T11:02:40","date_gmt":"2021-10-22T15:02:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/?p=900"},"modified":"2021-10-22T11:15:58","modified_gmt":"2021-10-22T15:15:58","slug":"roethlisberger-hopes-to-have-raping-shoulder-back-in-shape-by-offseason","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derfmagazine.com\/home\/sports\/roethlisberger-hopes-to-have-raping-shoulder-back-in-shape-by-offseason\/","title":{"rendered":"Roethlisberger hopes to have raping shoulder back in shape by offseason"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

PITTSBURGH, PA <\/strong>– Ben Roethlisberger has confirmed to reporters that an exam following the playoff game with the Cincinnati Bengals diagnosed torn ligaments and sprains. However, Ben remains hopeful that a steady regimen of rehab and medical care will have his raping shoulder back in shape by the offseason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m no doctor but I know people,\u201d said Pittsburgh head coach Mike Tomlin. \u201cI know Big Ben, and if there is anyone who can get back into primetime raping shape in a hurry, it\u2019s him. I\u2019ve heard tale that he once dislocated his knee while in the middle of a very heated sexual assault. Ben just took a second, popped the knee back into place, and went right back to business. The campus police were so impressed they posed for pictures with him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some think that though the shoulder may be back in shape, Ben may never return to the prime form he has had in the past. \u201cIt\u2019s sad to say, but the fact is he\u2019s getting old,\u201d said analyst Mel Kiper. \u201cSure, he\u2019s still got a few good rounds of buggery left in him, but I and many others wish he\u2019d hang up his raping shoes so we can remember him in his prime instead of seeing him hang around too long.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pittsburgh fans, as always, remain optimistic and have no doubt that their hero will overcome this injury. \u201cSo what if he got his raping shoulder hurt,\u201d said Mike Kowalski of Pittsburgh. \u201cNothing is gonna stop BIg Ben! Remember how in the second Rocky movie or maybe it was the third Rocky movie Rocky switched from being left handed to being right handed? Ben is a champion. Just like Rocky. He could easily just switch over to his non-dominant shoulder for raping purposes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben remains cautiously optimistic, but still bothered by the injury. \u201cI\u2019m not a crybaby and I\u2019m not going to dwell on this,\u201d said Roethlisberger. \u201cBut I have no doubt in my mind that this was the result Vontaze Burfict wanted. It was a dirty tackle. I guarantee that he was specifically targeting my rape shoulder during the tackle, and I think we need a rule in the NFL to keep that kind of thing from happening.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PITTSBURGH, PA – Ben Roethlisberger has confirmed to reporters that an exam following the playoff game with the Cincinnati Bengals diagnosed torn ligaments and sprains. However, Ben remains hopeful that a steady regimen of rehab and medical care will have his raping shoulder back in shape by the offseason. \u201cI\u2019m no doctor but I know people,\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-900","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-sports"},"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n\t\n\t\n