GOSHEN, OH – Supervisors at the Fabrawear sweatpants factory report that worker morale has never been higher since the inception of their “Formal Fridays” program. Workers are encouraged to dress in formal attire rather than their usual garb of sneakers, t-shirts, and company supplied sweatpants.
“These folks clean up well,” said factory foreman Kevin Cole. “By which I mean they leave their work stations spotless. Some of them look good in their formal wear too. One of the girls in the sewing room had a sequined number on and I thought we’d hired a movie star.”
The factory lists the day as “Formal” rather than “Black Tie” because of some complaints. Workers were disappointed when sweat stains prevented them from getting the deposit back on their tuxedo rentals. “We might come in looking like a million bucks,” said machine operator Brady Herr. “But we’re still gonna put in a hard days work.”
Workers look forward to Formal Fridays all week long. “It feels nice to get out of the sweats for a day,” said assembly line packer David Ross. “Everyone really gets into it, and we even try to top each other. I’m looking into trying to buy a second hand top hat. If our new health plan includes eye care, I might get fitted for a prescription monocle”