Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas

CINCINNATI – The Gorilla Glue company warned retailers this week to expect product shipping delays this holiday season due to limited availability of the product’s key ingredient dead gorillas. The manufacturer located on Red Bank Road explained the growing season for gorillas this year was stunted due to unfortunate rain forest weather shifts that impacted the gorilla food source. Gorilla harvesting is expected to increase next year allowing a return to profitability in businesses that depend on dead gorillas as the primary raw material.