LONDON – Citizens of the British Empire are thrilled with the newest addition to the monarchy. Royal baby Charlotte Elizabeth Diana has enthralled fans of the British Royal Family, and has also intrigued geneticists who are amazed at how she is showing less signs of inbreeding than her royal predecessors.
“She’s quite a little looker, isn’t she,” said adoring subject Madeline Wallis. “This generation of royals is making some really pretty babies. The scientists are saying it’s because their parents aren’t as closely related as they used to be, but I don’t know if that’s true. I heard King George was a pretty baby, and I think his parents were pretty much Siamese twins.”
“There is definitely a trend here,” said geneticist Dr. Andrew Newhouse. “The royal family’s lack of inbreeding is being evidenced in the general health, intelligence, and appearance of the newest generation. Even as recently as when Charles was born, he was only considered attractive in the sense that his face had not elongated yet, and he had yet to have any horrible teeth grow in. Beyond that, of course, are the rumors that they shaved a full coat of body hair and removed a prehensile tail before presenting him to the public.”
Other scientists are not sure of the cause, but acknowledge that there must be something going on. “Baby Charlotte is a beauty,” said scientist Dr. Everett Hughes. “But these theories about inbreeding are far-fetched and rather insulting, and I don’t believe they have any basis in fact. There could be any number of factors for the genetic strengthening that has been achieved. My theory is that they may finally be escaping the genetic defect of “horse face,” which most likely occurred after Queen Victoria mated with a pony.”