TERRACE PARK, OH – Woodlands Hill Dog Park’s expansion includes a new doggie pool, a half acre obstacle course, and a new fenced in section especially set aside for habitual canine sexual predators. Predatory dogs will also be subject to an additional ten dollar admission fee.
“The idea came from several of our regular customers,” explained dog park manager Kevin Rohmiller. “They complained that their dog’s experience in the park was often ruined by other dogs who would engage in perpetual humping and humping related activities. Well, now they only have to experience that if they pay the extra fee.”
Tom Littleton owns Bandit, a yellow lab and canine sexual predator. Tom is thrilled that the park has set aside the area. “Old Bandit can be quite a handful, and I was sick of apologizing to every poodle owner he was grinding on. This way he can do his business without any prudes getting their noses out of whack.”
Some complaints have come in, however, from dog owners who believe their dogs were incorrectly labeled as sexual predators. “This is pure insanity,” said Marian Thompson, who owns a year old cocker spaniel named Brute. “Brute wasn’t engaged in any predatory behavior, he was just licking at his stitches. Hopefully the review board will rule in favor of his appeal.”
However, most park visitors believe the plan was the right way to go. “I’m just thrilled with this new layout,” said Karen Osborne. “It will be great to have a place where Muffin can run and play without worrying about getting tag teamed by a couple of schnauzers.”