By Katie Michaels, DERF Lifestyle Columnist
You would think most girls have a large list of deal-breakers. Not true. Call it shallow if you want, but the real list most women live by may surprise you. Here’s a list that most women wish they used in their past. This is a list that will save any woman a lot of wasted time in failed relationships. These are the time-wasting, heart breaking, lesson-learning deal-breakers that we should all try to live by.
1. It takes your guy longer than you to get ready – can we say, “metro?”
2. His teeth glow brighter than Jessica Simpson’s – what’s next, an audition for a reality TV show?
3. He has a fake tan – does he get facials and pedicures too?4. He struts instead of walks – really, “hun”, you’re not all that.
5. He has questionable tattoos (cartoon characters, a design across his lower back, the word “MOM”!) – he’s either an absolute dork, or super creepy!
6. He’s skinnier than you – I mean, really, how are you going to have mind-blowing sex if you’re stronger than he is? (Yes boys, no matter what those other girls are innocently proclaiming, we do like it rough sometimes.)
7. He’s shorter than you – too Wizard of Oz.
8. He gets his eyebrows waxed – what a wuss! I’m all for getting rid of that uni-brow, but be a man and take the pain – pluck!
9. He gets his hair highlighted – again, say it with me…”metro.”
10. His, um, “package” has piercings – I said we liked it rough sometimes…not sadism.
11. You suggest to him that you have sex in front of a mirror, so you both can watch, and he says, “No.” – is he gay?
12. He talks dirty in bed, but when you do, he tells you, with a disgusted look on his face, to stop – can you say, “Prude?” Boys, boys, boys, we don’t like double-standards.
That’s enough for now. Try to commit the majority of these to memory.
Be warned any set of rules like this can be hard to live by…especially in the moment when your perspective can be confused to say the least. But if things seem off, try to get some time alone with your innermost thoughts. Seek clarity about what is important to you. The answers are inside you. Be open to hearing them.