NORWOOD, OH – More national recognition for Norwood as the city has been named a top destination city for young professionals to engage in stabbings. Norwood beat out a large field of cities for the honor, and city fathers are proud that the city’s reputation as a home for stabbings is getting the recognition it deserves.
“Norwood is a city on the move!” said the city chamber of commerce spokesman Daniel Tobias. “And that move is in a sharp forward motion, arm thrust out. Or, that move is a slightly backward motion, made while doubled over and grimacing in pain. I’ll put the stabbers and stabbees of Norwood up against any knife wielders in the world.”
The title was given to Norwood after a select committee considered many factors. Norwood was picked as a top city for young professionals to engage in stabbings based on thecost of living, nightlife andthe availability of sharp objects. “Having a college campus nearby is always good for young professionals,” said selection committee chair Barbara Phillips. “It affords access to bars and a bustling vibe that so many young professionals interested in engaging in stabbings find key. We hope that XU will someday put together a Stabbing Arts major.”
Norwood is hoping that the honor will attract young professionals to town for the first annual Norwood Stabbing Games, which will be held concurrently to the Cincinnati Choir Games. The Stabbing Games, however, are expected to be much more popular and better attended.