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Fox News closing operations until 2012 election

NEW YORK – Fox News executives announced this week the cable news network will close its doors until the height of the 2012 Presidential campaign. Sources say the channel will stay completely dormant for the next three years. Viewers who turn to the cable channel will see a static test pattern indicating ceased programming until 2012.

Although critics say the decision reflects bitterness over the Barack Obama victory and the John McCain loss, Fox News says the move is based solely on poor ratings projected throughout Obama’s first term. Fox News anchor Shepherd Smith said, “Our projections indicate a viewer rating of nearly zero near until the next campaign fires up.”

Reportedly mainstream media outlets consider this a victory. A spokesman for the Associated Press said, “This is a win for American media as a whole. Finally we are completely united in our political viewpoint. For a long time Fox News was the one outlet that was always blatantly out of sync with the singular bias of the entire media community.”

Other high profile conservative media figures such as Rush Limbaugh are also considering taking a leave of absence during most of Obama’s first term.

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